Today I am leaving my baby in the care of someone else. Not a family member. I keep reminding myself that other moms have had to do this too. It is going to be okay. If you want to pray for me that would be awesome. I’ve been back at the office part-time for two weeks… but leaving Sloane with my dear mother-in-law is a lot easier than leaving her with someone who is not family.
Last week my friend Kara shared this with me and I am holding onto it tight today:
“He tends to this flock like a shepherd: He gathers lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” – Isaiah 40:11
Love you friend
Thinking about you and Baby girl today 
It might be a tough day, but you can do it, Erika! Stay busy, and be sure to have lunch with friends. And if you want to go home early, do that, too. Best of luck!
I agree with Elizabeth. Try to get back in the swing of things, but if you need to go home early do that, you won’t regret it. Thinking of you today.
Thinking about you!!
and praying for your sweet heart! Sloane will be FINE!!
Hey Erica! Great scripture, hold onto it you will make it . It is so hard to leave them even for a few hours, my 3 yr old goes to preschool 3 days a week and I think of him and miss him every moment! Will pray for u!
Praying blog-stalker, here. I’ve never commented before – but just wanted you to know that I just lifted you up in prayer.
What a beautiful verse to cling to… My children went to daycare and I was also very, very concerned. I always made sure I had the best daycare situation available, and when I walked into work I was free to focus there. At the end of each work day I would rush to pick them up and I was able to focus on home and family.
Today my son and daughter are healthy, happy, successful, loving, and God-honoring adults. Truly. Evenings and weekends were family times and we stayed home more than most. Also,their daddy was/is totally involved in every aspect of their lives. God is faithful and honors all our efforts at parenting. He can use even our “mistakes” to his advantage and glory.
Enjoy your work–using your God-given gifts.
oh man! i know that this is tough. i have mixed feelings about this though. so it’s hard for me to comment. but i will say that i am thinking of you and your little one and i hope that it’s a smooth transition for you both.
I feel you sister! Try not to be anxious… you’re a great mommy who loves her girl!! She knows that and we do too!
I totally understand your apprehension – and I am not even yet a mother. I hope to not have to do that when I have children…but I have not yet won the lottery
Good luck!!
Lifting you up SO high today, and every day. But especially right now. Is that me “Kara”?
BIG hugs.
Your mother-in-law may not be YOUR family, but she is Sloane’s family. I’m sure Sloane’s grandma would do anything for her. You’re very lucky. xoxo
Going back to work is the bit of being pregnant that I fear the most. Hand in there and know that you are not alone. Thanks for the verse – I will keep that one near.
I just realized I read it wrong! Sorry, Erika. It will get easier, trust me. Your new sitter will become a part of your lives and Sloane will love her. Hang in there! xoxo
Erika – I’ve never posted just been a closet stalker but I thought I would weigh in on this one. I discovered after I went back to work that NOTHING can prepare you for leaving your kid with a stranger. It’s hard. I will pray for you. I do want you to know that it does get easier over time. Those strangers start to feel like family and you see that they love your baby girl as much as you do. Hang in there and just try to get back in the swing of things. You’ll eventually settle into a NEW normal.
Great scripture passage your friend shared. I stumbled upon your blog a few months ago ~ my daughter’s due date was a few weeks behind yours so it was fun to go through “together.” We’re praying for you, it is not an easy thing…how many times we have to cut the cord!
I’ll be thinking of you today also. I imagine how difficult today is for you. My co-worker cried all day the day she dropped her baby off at daycare. Can you go check on her at lunch? Each day will get easier.
It is very hard to leave your child in the care of someone else. But as hard as it is it can have unexpected benefits. My kids formed these wonderful lasting bonds with our summer girl, and she is still a part of the family.I will pray that your heart will be at ease, I am sure she is in good hands.
erika- you are going to do GREAT! i found that the anticipation leading up to it is far worse than actually leaving her. think of the joy that sweet Sloane will be giving her caregiver. i will pray that being away will make you a better wife and a better mama. praying for your heart!
I am praying for you and your baby girl today! This subject is very heavy on my mind as I’m expecting my first child in March and the plans to care for my little one are very much up in the air. Your quote from Isaiah is heartwarming and so helpful – thank you for sharing.
As you constantly seek the Lord, pray, and trust Him, He will guide your heart. And alway listen to your heart/mommie instinct! Great Bible verse BTW!
E, I’m a working mom, too. I have three boys under 7, and I work full-time outside the home. I know how you feel, and I WILL pray for you! It does get easier with time …
Oh, that pulls at my heart, too! Prayers with you – this is a milestone of sorts for you, too, new momma!
Leaving your little one is never easy. To be honest, it’ll never be easy, but everything will be okay!
I can’t imagine how tough it feels, but you are strong enough to get through it! I said a little prayer for you!
Praying for you and your sweet baby girl! She’ll be fine and soon, you will be too! Praying for a smooth transition, peace and comfort!
Praying that God gives you peace today.
I will certainly say a prayer for you. I’m sure it’s not easy. I know you love your job and you’re INCREDIBLE at it… if you continue to have that “feeling” that you’re missing out… please pray about it. Work will always be there…
I’m praying! I left my two girls in daycare when I returned to work after 6 weeks maternity leave. Fortunately, we had an extraordinary daycare that was really a community of families with the children cared for by fantastic teachers/nurturers/caregivers. Daycare was the right thing for our family and my girls blossomed. Today, they are extremely social and very curious, gifted learners. I credit the “village” of loving women that cared for them from 9 to 5. But, I remember crying all the way to work thinking I was a terrible mother… It’s hard and my heart goes out to you. Cling to scripture! Your verse is an excellent one.
Another closet lurker coming out here, too. My son, who is now 4 1/2, started daycare when he was 4 months old. That first day I couldn’t even get out of the car! I made my husband take him in. But like others has said, it does get easier. Much easier. As long as you know she’s in a good environment, things will be fine.
And don’t let anyone make you feel like less of a mother because you work and your child stays with someone else. We must all do what is best for our families and no one should make us feel bad for that.
I love your blog!
Another blog follower coming out to let you know I lifted you in prayer. It’s totally normal to feel the way you are feeling. And guess what? If you decide to stay at home, it’s OK!! I had a baby in January of this year. I am now a SAHM. We’re “poor”, but I’m not missing any moments with my baby. I pray that God will give you peace in whatever situation you choose. God bless!
Oh goodness. I remember this day like it was yesterday. Every day it get’s a little easier, I promise
Praying for you!
Hi Erika-I’ve never commented either, but felt the Lord speaking to me to share a few things with you. My daughter is 10 months old, I went back to work when she was 10 weeks old. It was not an easy day or week, but cling to the scripture Kara shared with you. I also try to encourage my friends who go back to work, that the people who care for your children become family. In 10 months, I have wonderful relationships with the ladies who care for my daughter. They are like family…they share in milestones…they care about you and your family. My husband and I prayed about where our daughter should stay, and we felt lead to have her in the care of the wonderful people I now call family. It doesn’t take long, and these people will truly become blessings in your life. I’m thankful the Lord has allowed me to be a part of their life, because not a day goes by that they don’t bless me in some way. A smile, encouragement for the day…whatever it might be. Know that the Lord will give you the strength you need…because He will!
oh i cannot imagine the heartache! i know your sweet baby girl is being taken good care of. it’s YOU i’m going to worry about
sending lots of love your way. xx
thinking of you…
E- I know it is tough but you will enjoy being back at work and doing what you love to do. My kids are in the care of others most days and are as happy as can be. Thinking of you. big hugs. xo
I completely understand today is the first day back at work for me too without my little Samuel and its really rough. Just know that God is looking out for Sloane and you and that every minute that goes by means you are getting closer to getting home and holding your darling little girl.
I’m positive you chose someone wonderful to care for your little one. This is never an easy choice for mom’s and dad’s to make. But, we use the good common sense and intuition God gave us to make these decisions. Somehow you will find the right balance between work and family that will make you all happy. Have faith in yourself…you will always do what is best for your child. No one ever said being a parent would be easy but so very much worth it. Praying for your little family.
Erica- I’m at stay-at-home and I even have someone come for a few days a week, about 2 hours a time. It’s enough for me to workout and run to the grocery store or do a doctor’s appointment. I struggled at first as well, but looking back (Henry is now 6 months!)- it was a good thing to do for me. It’s good to have some time away and not be in mommy-mode. Just know that it gets easier. I think it’s a little easier with non-family. You can be very honest with them and they look to you for the instructions. Good luck- I’ll be thinking of you! Hopefully you can come to a playgroup soon- it’s a great time to meet other moms with the same age children (most of them are first-time momst too). It’s VERY helpful on so many levels. I’ll make sure to include you on the evites.
you’re lucky that you work for yourself in that you’ll be able to plan your own schedule to a degree so you’ll be able to be there when you feel you need to be. but also don’t forget that it’s a powerful message to send sloane that there are things outside the house that make you happy and fulfill you, as well. i think she’s so lucky to have you as a role model – someone who’s built a successful business doing something she’s passionate about.
I remember that day. And the dread that led up to it. Thinking of you! It gets easier!!
xxxx
I know this must be really difficult. I will be praying for you and your family
My mom spent my entire childhood telling me that once I became a professional/career woman she would care for my children and cook meals for me and my family during the week. And I sort of relied on that for years. But when push came to shove, she couldn’t do it. She did have the ability to do so. And I was resentful until one day, I realized that she raised me as a single mother without family or friends nearby. Sick days had to be spent at caretakers homes. After-school and weekends were spent with babysitters. And I don’t blame her for it at all. She was doing the best she could. I don’t expect anything more than a grandmother’s love and attention to her grandchildren on the occasional visit.
I willingly spend a lot of my salary for quality daycare of my 1 year old, and a quality after-school program for my older two kids. It is the trade-off for having a career and giving them what I think they need.
You and your baby will be great. And those moments you are together is ever so sweeter. Good luck.
I wish I could be there! I would watch that precious baby girl anytime!! Maybe that could be my new occupation…:) Thinking of you today and praying, I’m sure it’s a hard day. I love you! XO
Cousin
What a beautiful verse. I know only too well that feeling from my own girl, and from the other side seeing it as a childcare provider. Just know she is in good hands (your gut instinct that led you to choose your child’s carer is not to be underestimated!). And you can go and get her whenever you want! Sending reassuring hugs and a prayer or two
Be strong! Every morning I leave for work, I have to remind myself that even though I’m not home with the little guy to love, feed and cuddle him, I’m still nurturing/providing for him in other ways by being at work, like providing health insurance, putting a roof over his head, etc. Logically, I know I’m doing a good thing. Emotionally, it breaks my heart … but makes pumping easier!
the person whom you have chosen to leave your loved one with will soon be family, be at peace, I am certain you have chosen well.
Yes, as many others have said, it’s hard! BUT- so is having a newborn. Hopefully you can enjoy a moment to yourself, work, and feel good about it. Working makes me a BETTER mom when I’m with my son.
Love your blog!!
Praying for you girl!
Erika- How fast the time goes by!!! They are only little for such a short time. A couple of words came to mind while reading your post today…
First: “To everything there is a season…” God knows the plans he has in store for you & your family!
Second: The greatest joy in the world is to be a mother!!
Third: Don’t try to be everything to everyone.
And Forth: Remember to put your trust in Him and He will direct your path.
In Christ,
Terri
Hi Erika!
Peruvian stalker here, just wanted to say, Im gonna be praying for you. Im a working mother of 2 and it is very hard at first but it does get easier, and some days are easier than others. Sloane is gonna be so proud of you when she is older, and she is gonna love your work and the person you are because of it!
I love your work too
Still waiting on the nursery, but dont worry, take your time!
Sorry for my english.
I think you can never go wrong listening to your heart. Listen closely to your feelings, don’t ignore them, or hope with time they will lessen in their severity. God can guide you through those feelings to make choices you wouldn’t otherwise have made, and bless you for those choices more than you can now imagine.
love you, E! i said a prayer for you and sweet sloane!
It’s good to see you’re back up and running! I’ve missed your posts in the interim. Best of wishes with your return to work. At least little Sloane has a mom that is anxious to return to her at the end of the day. I’m a stay at home mom and sometimes think I’d be better if I got away more. You’ll likely make the most of every moment you have. Here’s to all the emotional throws of motherhood!
That was the hardest thing for me to do as well. It definitely hurts us more than it hurts them. But, once she gets a little older, she will start to wave bye-bye to you and run to see her friends. It is so good for them. Never the less, you will be in my thoughts.
it was seriously the hardest thing i ever did. i sat in the hallway and cried–no, make that WEPT–the day i started back to work after my 8-week maternity leave. god has been putting it on my heart to stay at home with mary margaret, but we can only swing it part-time so next august (i’m a teacher) i’ll go part-time. mary margaret will already be 19 months old and i feel i’ve missed so much.
and even though you don’t think you’ll survive, you will. but i’m not going to lie and say it gets easier. it does for some i know, but it doesn’t for everyone. my one piece of advice is: IT’S OKAY TO FEEL WHATEVER YOU FEEL!
good luck and god bless.
That is a hard thing to do. Hope you and Sloane made it through the day and fell into a warm hug when you saw each other again.
Prayed for you and Sloane today! I hope it was a good day for you both.
It’s gonna be fine! Super fine! Extremely fine. Do not worry.
I love that quote from Isaiah. It is so right for this situation. I’ve missed your blogs – but glad that things are going well for your family! I’ll pray for you that your baby girl does well and that you also do well with this little separation!
Thinking of you this week. It’s tough. My first two days back weren’t as tough as my 3rd. I think I was too busy on the first two days and then it hit and I missed by baby. It has gotten a bit easier, especially as they grow a little more independent. Best wishes!
Hang in there. It does get easier. I think the first day is the hardest. Just remember what an awesome role model you are being to your little girl!!
Wow – that was fast! Thinking of you and your little baby!
I am confused, can’t you work from home? So sorry, but I never left my girls with someone strange until they could talk… sorry I do not get having them then leaving them so soon, feels really soon for me. I will say a prayer that you have checked out the people you have left her with completely and that everything will be fine, always remember that if you want to you can drop back in and check on her. Keeping you in my thoughts for the rest of the day.
Hi Erika! I’ve been reading your blog for a while and never posted. I’m an aspiring designer and love your work so selfishly I’m glad you’re back! I spent the year after I graduated from college as a nanny for a sweet infant girl. She was a little older than Sloane when I began and over a year old when I left. I adored that little girl and would have sacraficed anything for her. I was in a car accident on one of my days off and as I watched it happen my only thought was how happy I was that She was not in the car with me. The woman who is taking care of Sloane right now will love and adore her and give anything to keep her safe and happy until you can get home to her. I hope that this will allow you to breath a little easier until you head home.
We’ll all be praying for you and your sweet girl! Meg
I hope your first day back went well! I bet it felt like Christmas morning when you got to see your girl at the end of the day!
I enjoy staying home, but as I read your post I thought, “how great that she has something that she is so gifted in and passionate enough to want to go and do it every day.” not all of us have that, so consider yourself blessed in that resepct.
Erika, thinking of you today. I hope the time flies by and you will be back home soon. xoxo
I’m a sometimes readers who happened back today, just wanted to let you know that I worked in a daycare for 5 year while in College, and plan on owning one in the future; I loved every child like my own (really!) and believe me, you don’t do childcare for the money, you do it because you LOVE children. She will be well taken care of : )
As I sit here reading the posts and feeling your anxiety over leaving your baby to go to work, I am reminded of the countless debates over sahm’s vs. working mom’s (I am a sahm). Forget those thoughts and do what is best for you and it will be what is best for your daughter, being a happy mom will make her more secure and happy. GUILT, it is what being a mom is all about! The other thought that I am having is daycare sounds pretty good right now as I listen to my 2 & 1 yr old destroy my office, ribbon is being pulled off of spools and embroidery thread unraveled.
Oh, I forgot, having five kids and staying home with all of them one thing I have found so far is that they all wanted to go to daycare! My 5 yr old recently lied to her teacher saying that I would no longer be able to care for her after school and that she was supposed to go to after school care…grass is always greener on the other side of the playpen!
Oh boy, do I understand! Heart-breaking, isn’t it?
It’s true what they say, it does get easier. I think continuing to breastfeed, though that can make things trickier, really helps to keep that bond going despite the time apart.
Hope it all has been going great!
Like you, I had to send my baby daughter to be cared for by someone other then family and I’m not going to lie it was so hard but it made the time I did spend with her even more special and I cherished those moments intensely! Good luck getting through this! I have to add I looovvveee your daughter’s name, why?? My daughter’s name is Sloan (minus the e too!!)
Erika,
I left my twins in the kindest and most capable of hands and to this day, still have this sweet lady come into my home and know that she had a hand in raising good boys. I think it takes more than just a village to raise a family. For me, after my children came, I noticed I was that much more productive, wanting to balance work and family time is an honorable thing. Wishing you good success with work and motherhood.
Communication is key!
pve
the fact that you’re so concerned about your little one speaks volumes about your love for her. what a lucky baby girl! sending good thoughts your way!
kelly
I remember this day myself, it’s so hard! But you will be more happy and fulfilled in the long run – all of you!
Oh that is a beautiful verse! Hope it is going well for you this week.. that would be hard! Praying for you!
x Trina
You will make it
My daughter is 5 and is taking her second field trip tomorrow an hour away from the school!!!…I’m petrified! Though I feel as though I may end up on that field trip with her, I know that she is in good hands, and I have faith that your wee one is good hands as well 
Don’t worry. We will be praying for you and the lil’ one! You do the best you can as a mother- researching the caregivers and knowing in your heart you are always doing the best for your child. Angels are watching over her! Just love the name Sloane!
have a blessed day back to work!
Michelle
I just found your blog through a friend. I am at work (shhh) and haven’t been able to stop reading! Your baby is just precious. I too am a believer and know that the Lord is looking after her, as well as you and your heart while you are gone. Your design work is great
Isaiah’s words are more comforting and more powerful than mine will be. But what I can say is trust in the Lord and believe in prayer.
A few days have passed, and I am praying that baby Sloane’s sitter is someone that is fast on her way to becoming a trusted, very important part of your little family. To be able to continue your work and have baby Sloane in capable hands while you are away, is a blessing. I wish that for you.
I will be thinking of you… and great verse from Kara. I miss her (if she is the blogger I’m thinking of)!
Interestingly, we will not be in this situation for about 2 years (or so we’re planning) but I’ve started to look at child care options and can only begin to imagine how difficult this must be. I’m sure that she will still be getting lots of love!
Good luck, I am sure it is not easy!
Hi Erika! I hope that you have had a nice week! (I am a XO who was a few years younger than you & I love your blog!) Your new baby is absolutely beautiful! I have two little ones (26 months & 11 months) and have worked (part-time) the whole time. we have the most wonderful sitter who has come everyday for 2 years and she is like family now & my 2 year old prays for her every night. Whenever I start to get or about leaving them, I think of Miriam who put baby Moses in a basket…and then disguised herself to raise him. now THERE was one strong mama!
Erica,
I know how hard this is. I remember my first day back to work when my oldest was little. It was awful. But PLEASE don’t let anyone make you feel bad. I am a SAHM now because that is what works for us but women should be able to do what they want to do and what they need to do. That is a GREAT scripture and I hope you are finding the peace and balance that you need. You will figure out the work/Mommy thing…we all do. It just takes time.